You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
