Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
