Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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