He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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