My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
