Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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