So drunk its hurt
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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