So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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