Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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