this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
