You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Pants are for mortals
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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