Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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