in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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