I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
