at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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