Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
