Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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