Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
