I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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