You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
