I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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