How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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