I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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