her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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