You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
