the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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