Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
