Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
