R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Nicole vs. Life
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize