Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
