I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
