At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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