I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
