Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
