She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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