Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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