Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize