I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just want to make out with him forever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
