I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
