i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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