i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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