it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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