I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was confusing and full of hummus
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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