Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
