they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
