my room smells like sperm. sweet.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
