Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
