the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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