Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
