I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
