I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
