quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
