So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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