she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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