Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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