I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
