you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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